Oh boy, where does one start after not writing for – more than half a year? Don’t worry, this won’t be some recap of my everyday life. I just knew, I needed to write. First and foremost, I’m writing because it’s therapeutic to me. Also, I write for you: the person who take the time to read this, likely because you connect to what I say. I’ve always truly appreciated it.
There is so much vulnerability in writing. I’m so thankful for therapy, which has given me the gift of being vulnerable. It’s still not easy, but I’m grateful to those who have reached out because of my writing to let me know I’m not alone in so many ways. I began writing many years ago, after our move to the Midwest (boooooo!), and I’ve always published the link to my social media. I’ve decided to no longer do this. It saddens me in a way, as I’ve developed closer relationships with existing friends and family through writing, but it takes away some of the freedom I’d like in talking about my life. Also, to be completely truthful (if took a long time to admit this to myself), but I think I published to my social media, to try and be seen or recognized in ways I haven’t felt in my life. My writing shouldn’t be about that. It’s a version of taking an antidepressant by getting things out there. In giving my soul to those I know, it also creates anxiety – sometimes I’d need to drink to find the courage to write, and almost always would have to drink after. I’d drink because I’d use writing as my voice to speak to those, I didn’t have the courage to say the words to or I’d worry those who didn’t deserve to read my words, would have access to my life. Here I am, onto a new chapter and unsure if anyone will see these words, but I am okay with that. It’s a calling.
I’m settled into my recliner, with my foot wrapped. I had surgery a couple of weeks ago on foot and big toe. My joints (except top) in my big toe were fused and my foot is fused as to not flex. This surgery came thirteen months after the last surgery on this foot for a bunion and large bone spur on my ankle. This one came after months of swelling and pain and finding that my big toe was riddled with arthritis which caused me to walk on the outside of my foot. There was no arthritis in the x-rays from a year ago, so this is highly unusual. It’s likely caused by my autoimmune issues. I’ve got another 4-6 of non-weight bearing and on this darn knee scooter. I’m not a fan and starting to go a little crazy. I went into this surgery, knowing that I’ve dealt with depression after each surgery and have approached this one differently in hoping to stave off the depression. I’ve gotten out of the house more and done more than I should. Physically I feel the overdoing of everything. Mentally, I’m grateful to be doing so well. I’ve just come out of a significant depression and weight gain.
Since becoming perimenopausal, I’ve tried different antidepressants with varying degrees of success and side effects. I’ve come to accept, at least while I’m dealing with menopause, that I need to be medicated. Thankfully, I’m on one now that has really helped in these last few months. If you’re going through the stage where you aren’t finding one that works, I understand your frustrations. I would go periods without, as I couldn’t take it anymore. Once you find the right one, though, it is life changing. I’ve had to let go of the stigma of thinking I’m crazy or broken and accept that I’m a human that struggles and accept the help of medication.
2022 is a year of change. Some of the changes, are intentional, while some I have no control over. I only know that I will work hard to make the best of some of these situations, while still being human and going through grief and having doubts about myself. It is scary to be fifty years old and have no idea what the future holds in so many ways. If you’ve stumbled across this blog, I hope you’ll stay with it and hopefully we can figure things out together. I always love hearing from you.
Coming to you live from my reclining love seat. My butt has been planted here or I’ve been lying down with foot elevated and icing, for the past eleven days. Today is the day to get back on schedule with real life things (work on my book, writing this post, reading, etc). We are told the, nearly three-hour, surgery went well on my foot and ankle. One wouldn’t think a foot wouldn’t be such a big deal, but boy oh boy, it is. Pain wise, I would say it was worse than knee surgery, but it doesn’t even touch neck surgery. When things feel like they suck with this, I remind myself how lucky I am to not have the horrid nerve pain that came with neck surgery.
All in all, I feel really lucky with this surgery. The first couple of days were easier than I thought they might be. A few days in, I had a short stretch of bad days. Any time you’re dealing with surgery, it gets tough. You don’t poop for a week or more, anesthesia is always tough on me with nausea that last for many days. I was on pain meds, and it was a little hard to have good control over the knee scooter and there were many times I ran over my “good” foot or toe. Thankfully that part has gotten much better. I’m truly grateful for the advice of a good friend who the same surgery on the foot part, when she said to take it easy. She overdid it (by simply trying to make a smoothie) and it landed her in an ambulance to the ER when her back locked up on her. When you’re working on one leg (especially when it’s a bad knee) and bending and twisting and using these different muscles, the body is not real forgiving. I have gotten a lot more brave lately (doing dishes a few times and putting laundry in washing machine, etc), but I am very careful. I’m hoping on Wednesday, I will graduate to a walking boot. It will take a bit to actually walk, but I am super excited at this prospect. It is one step closer to healing this part of the body.
I have been so blessed with family and friends who have been there for me every day since before and after the surgery. Anyone who has had surgery knows just what a head fuck it all is. You’re in pain. You feel alone, etc. This surgery has been the best in terms of support, and it makes all the difference. I urge you to be the person that checks in on someone when they are going through surgery or a tough time. I promise: they will be so appreciative, and they will never forget you. I’ve been showered with meals, books, flowers, nice visits, good phone conversations and texts. I knew how hard this was going to be, and I did ask my baby sister to be there for me. She heard me. Being heard is one of the most precious things there is in this life (especially in a house full of boys 😊 She called me for days leading up to the surgery and after. She took time from her day to plan some of these long calls, while she was vacationing in Honolulu. I am so appreciative of my family and friends for making me feel so loved and cared for.
It always helps to keep things in perspective when going through dark times. I have some that are close to me, that have gone through absolute hell lately. I do feel helpless, in that I can’t just drop food by or be there to give a hug. I don’t know…as I start to write, it’s too heavy to write about and not my stories. COVID is still a giant MOTHER FUCKER. It’s times like this, where I wish I were someone who used the C word, because that’s what goes through my head. I’m not going to sit and preach about getting vaccinated. Some of those closest to me don’t believe in it, and we agree to not even talk about it – knowing we can’t change each other’s minds. I will say this…The first time I left the house in over a week, was Friday when Brian drove me half hour each way for me to get my second vaccination. It was rough with all the movement. It was rough when I had to scoot through this large building from place to place to get that second shot. I was rough, fearing a bad reaction – which thank God, I did not get. But I tell you what, I feel beyond grateful to have been vaccinated. I feel beyond grateful that everyone in my house has at least one shot under the belt. COVID is a MOFO that is still making people I love, sick. It is still taking the lives of their family and friends. I’m just praying enough people get vaccinated, so that we can put this C word of a virus in the past. – I thank God that the vaccine is now becoming so much more widely available.
No real good segue way here. I had put off the job search for a while, as I knew the surgery was coming up. I did apply for two jobs right before the surgery, knowing it takes a while to go through the process. I did interview with both of them last week, and I believe they went well. I should know more about them this week. One of them I am really interested in. I have had a couple of different offers since I last wrote, but they were not the jobs for me. I am being selective. Jobs are such a big part of our lives, I just really want to make the right move.
I’ll also continue to try and make the most of my time off work, to find an agent for my book and figure that stuff out. Everything takes a long time – especially when you’re a first time author, without an agent etc already in place. I did add a new chapter to my book. I had felt it needed it, and my editor suggested it too. I had to sit with it for a while. It’s not easy to plop down a new chapter a third of the way into a book, that has been completed for some time. I like the way it came out, even though, I’m still trying to get used to it. It helps pulls things together better. I sent the chapter to my editor. We did not talk money. She edited it and also went back into the following chapter and gave suggestions to help tie things together. I sent her some money via an app. She returned the money, giving me the sweetest note. This woman, does this for a living….and she did not want to take my money. Instead, she told me she hoped me downtime after surgery has given me a lot of time to think about the next book. To have someone believe in you like this and simply want to support me….Dude. It is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
I’ve now been off the hard pain relievers for a bit and can keep my eyes open throughout the day. I’m looking forward to taking advantage of this time to work on the things that bring my soul peace.
I did want to say, that initially after surgery, I had a hard time eating. My stomach was so upset. I counted my points. I made good choices in order to be healthy. Then, after several days, I got HUNGRY. And I really haven’t stopped eating (mostly shit) since. I need to pull it together. I was afraid this would happen. Staying on track isn’t always easy, and especially when I don’t have the luxury of using my feet to stand in a kitchen or to workout my mental stuff through walking and hiking, etc. I do need to get back to it, though. I need to nourish my body as it tries to heal itself. This will be a long journey, and I need all the help I can get. I need to start off each day with a smoothie or fresh juice. I feel like I can maybe do this now (be more active in the kitchen). If I start my day right, it makes all the difference. My whole routine is so thrown off (including getting up late). So, please send me some positive energy.
I received some awesome news about a friend getting a clean scan today (they had been checking for cancer). It totally makes my day! I look forward to working on book, reading, and allowing myself 2 episodes of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” today. I hope the day brings you happiness in all the ways that are most important to you.
Okay, the universe is trying to tell me something….For the second day in a row, I’ve turned on the 80’s music channel on t.v. and Red, Red, Wine starts. I’m telling you…the t.v. is like a best friend trying to talk you into drinking, when you know you shouldn’t. I love wine. Truly love it. Sometimes it is a depressant, and that totally fucking sucks. It’s like your boyfriend cheating on you. They are supposed to make you feel all good inside and bam! Haven’t thought about something awful in a long time? Wine will remind you and make you as sad as the day it happened. Other times, it is my favorite feeling. I feel warm, relaxed, social – the things I want to always feel but don’t. Huh. Not how I thought this blog would start, but the universe thought I needed to get some thoughts out, I guess.
I hope this Valentine’s Day is treating you well. I guess it’s like wine for many, in how they feel about it. It has never been a big deal to me. I usually think of my Grandma June, as it was her birthday. I don’t think she liked me much, but I still think of her. VDay is one week before my birthday, so Brian always jokes about blending the two together. He jokes, but he does do this. The poor guy got home this morning after being gone for work for 16 ½ hours. He still came home with a sweet card. That, to me, is the best. As tired as he was, he thought of me. What did I get him? Uh, I thought we would wait until he had a day off. Whoops. Oh man. ONJ just came on. Maybe I should turn off the music. Distracting. Any song by her takes me back, but especially Magic (which is playing). Put on your roller skates and find a cute partner for the couples skate. Anyway, my love language is gifts and services. I will make Brian some cookies. We are out of eggs, so I need to figure the best egg substitute. The house if clean. I will pack an emergency bag for the car for him. It is -20 wind chill right now and only supposed to get colder. His laundry is clean. Dinner is made for him to take. This may not be how you view romance, but if those things are done for me – Bam! Panties off. I think they call this choremance.
Last weekend I was putting groceries away and noticed the 1,000 bags of nearly empty bags of chips scattered around. Shame on me for continuing to buy them, but every time I look, I see we are almost out. I don’t eat chips much, so it’s not something I keep a close eye on. This type of shit makes me bat shit crazy…. Every day in this house is an act of self-restraint. I have gotten much better in recent years about holding it all in. It does no good to ask for help or point things out. Still, I do speak up sometimes. Yesterday was one of those days, and Brian says, ”If you weren’t so cute, I’d find you annoying.” Grrrr….sweet but grrrrr. I Hate a dirty house. It is especially worse amid a pandemic, weather that is unfit to go out in, and being jobless. I work hard to keep it all up. It makes me feel good to clean. I love the instant results. It makes it much harder, when I’m constantly cleaning up after 3 able bodies boys. Back in the day, Brian and I had agreement that whoever doesn’t cook, had to clean up. That went out the window years ago. I usually do both. It is fine now, though. He is working. I am not. I remind myself of this every day. We have a small entry way. I put in a shoe house or whatever it’s called. If I were to look now, there are probably seven pair of shoes kicked up next to it. Like a fucking inch away… If I were to walk into the boys’ bathroom right now, I’ll likely see an electric toothbrush sitting right in front of the charger, an empty tp roll on the roller and a roll on the counter. The soap may be out – when there’s a big thing of refillable hand wash under the sink. A stack of Brian and Cal’s dirty clothes – Ryne got tired of me bitching a year or so ago and does pick his up. On some days, my toothpaste is also in there (because nobody looked under the cabinet or in the drawer to see where I have them stocked). It is recycling put on the counter, because apparently the trash can I have labeled “recycling” is too far away (but maybe six feet – I know since I’m the only one who takes it or the garbage out). I could go on and on and on…It is maddening.
As I’ve gotten older, I have come to realize more and more – what is most important. Sure, the things above make me fucking nuts, but I have learned to let those things go more easily. I think of Brian, tired, stressed, and he stops to get me a card. I would have been fine with him coming right home to sleep. I went back to the bed when he got home, because I know he sleeps best when I’m next to him. I stayed there for about an hour until I knew he was sleeping hard. We have been together – oh shit – quick math – 28 years, and he wants me next to him. He makes me laugh every single day. He works hard for our family. He has taken on the responsibility of making the money while I try to figure things out for myself. He never says, are you going to eat all of that or haven’t you had enough to drink? He is attracted to me at any weight, and I find him as sexy as the day we met. He is faithful. He has stayed with me, when I wouldn’t have blamed him for leaving.
Yes, life with boys is not easy. I might be going through a midlife crisis (okay, I know I’m older than midlife, but in my head -that’s how I see it) as far as a career, but I feel grounded in my home life. I’m lucky to have my life with boys.
Today is the last time I will post my blog to my personal home page. I will continue to on the diaryofherjourney FB page. It is too hard for me to be vulnerable to so many people. If people want to read this, hopefully they will subscribe on the home page of the blog. It will only email you if I post something new. I would like to grow this with people who have my best interest at heart and are helping me to realizing a dream.
Damn, I can’t get Red, Red, Wine out of my head.
We will talk about how bad I’ve been shitting the bed on my food choices next time.
I hope this day finds you right where you want to be.
Welcome to the new blog and website! I knew I needed to have a more positive name than, diariesofafatass. I am proud of that blog, but I no longer think of myself in that way. Don’t get me wrong….I have a lot of extra weight, but when I think of myself – my weight is not the first thing that comes to mind and no longer defines me. So, here I am, someone who doesn’t know shit about websites, with a new website, she can’t figure out (it’s not near as user friendly as the other platform). So please bear with me as I try to navigate through this thing.
I think we are all on the same page, as we wave goodbye to 2020 with middle fingers aloft. It is a year that changed us all.
2020 started out good for me. We had just hired a new senior manager. I was excited to have another person on the team and someone who could help with our ever-increasing workload. Right off the bat, you could tell she was not a people person. It was evident, by her telling us the blocks on her desk would be positioned each day to say what type of mood she was in. Oh boy. Even so, not everyone is a social butterfly. I was hopeful that she would bring a fresh energy to the group and happy to have a buffer between our nasty site leader.
At the end of February, I traveled to Costa Rica for my baby sister’s wedding. Brian made the decision not to come, as we were also going to Alaska in July and he couldn’t take two big trips (hindsight is 2020…). My lifelong friend, Caity was my roommate and was so glad she was there. It made our bond even stronger, which I did not know could be possible. It was a trip of a lifetime. Before this, I had only been to the UK on a work trip. All my other travels had been in the continental US. As beautiful and adventurous as it all was, seeing Brooke so happy and being around family was the best feeling in the world. A big group of us had breakfast one morning and I just looked around at everyone, in that moment, and wished I could bottle that feeling of love and contentment.
I was hesitant about traveling internationally because of COVID. My colleagues in China had done a great job of putting the fear of God into me. If it were not for Brooke getting married, I would have canceled my trip. I was only gone five days. In that time, of course I never watched television or checked the news, so was shocked to come home to see what was happening in the states. It was all so fast….now it was here and everywhere. I think it was just two weeks later that Costa Rica shut down travel. Brooke and I have talked about how lucky it all happened the way it did. I am blessed to have seen my family right before travel effectively shut down, everywhere.
Okay, I am going to work hard on condensing because I could talk about this fucking year – for a year.
I was feeling great about my weight and had been following WW quite strictly. My good friend Jan and I would leave the house at 6:45 A.M. every Saturday to weigh in and after the meeting, would go on some great adventure. The adventures always involved food (I mean, I am food addicted) but I would account for it. We spent a few months trying to find the best eggs benedict in Rockford and had a fabulous time. We would hike, grocery shop, run errands. Whatever it was, we had fun and meaningful conversation. Just like everything with the pandemic, it came to an abrupt stop. I did not deal with the anxiety of it all in a healthy manner. Work became a nightmare. It was a work stress I had never known. Trying to buy internationally, with whole countries shut down and a management team that was screaming every stop of the way – yuck. I was worried about everything, of course, the family the most. I drank A LOT of wine and ate up a fucking storm. I put on a good chunk of weight. Big sigh. I wish I could have dealt with it in the way those people who got super fit did or those who learned foreign languages, etc. No, I am me and I just do not cope well. I am a definite work in progress.
In May, Brian’s grandma passed away. In the age of COVID, nobody could be in the hospital with her (until the very end and then only one person). It was traumatizing thinking of what she was going through and the family – as well as our own. We could not be there. Brian wanted to jump on a plane, but he could not see her and would have had to quarantine from his mother. I lost my grandma when I was nineteen. I did not have grandparents when I met Brian at twenty. From the first moment we met, Gram treated me like family. I was blessed to have Brian’s grandparents in my life.
During all the craziness of the year, we found a new family member in Hunter. He went from being a coworker to part of our family. He is one of the most positive, empathetic people I have ever met. In the storm, he brought a light to our family.
Through most of the pandemic, I have had weekly virtual happy hours with my two great friends, Kim and Le Ann. I met the girls fourteen years ago or so at an Autism support group, led by Kim. We bonded over what our sons were going through and trying to find the latest/greatest thing that would lead to improving their lives – to just being great friends. We have had a lot of great travel adventures together and have an unshakeable bond. With this, none of us have been great at keeping in touch (since I no longer live in the state) and would chat every couple months or so. The pandemic got us face to face (via screen) every week and we talk in between. We continue this to this day. I would trust these women with my life.
A few months ago, Jan and I finally got out together (we were separated by pandemic, then she had surgeries on both of her feet). I had just given my notice and she needed out of the house. She was a trooper, going through Costco on a knee scooter. She craved normalcy. We were so happy to be out and about like old times. On our way back, we passed a cat in the middle of the highway. You could tell he could not move his back legs. We both freaked out and I turned around. I was terrified because it is a two-lane highway along the river with a lot of twists and turns. I was afraid I would get hit running into the road, or the Jeep would get hit with Jan in it. We knew we had to get the cat, though. We pulled over as far as we could and then an older couple turned around and pulled behind me in middle of road with their hazards, so I could get the cat. I took of my sweatshirt (with only tank top underneath) and ran out to get him. The cat was pissed and scared and in pain. I do not know a thing about cats but instantly thought, What the fuck am I doing? He was vocal and with his two front paws was lashing out at me. I held my arms out straight to try and avoid the blows. A car coming the opposite direction, saw us, thank God and stopped and put on their hazards. By the time I got him back to the car, he had calmed down. I thought he was grateful to be rescued but he was probably in shock. The older man got out and asked me what I was going to do – I said I will take him to my vet. He reached in his wallet, saying I know this is not much, but I want to help and gave me twenty dollars. What a sweet gesture. We were lucky enough to get to my vet just before they closed. I showed up, bleeding from my chest with a tank top on, in the cold…quite the sight I am sure. The vet tech took him from Jan and left. In that moment, I completely broke down. The adrenaline just stopped and I felt the weight of the moment, the worry for the cat. I felt it all. Jan was also moved and we drove in silence to her house, where I could drop her off.
The vet called me after he was able to examine and take x-rays. It did not look good for our Tom Cat as Jan referred to him. However, the vet explained sometimes good things do happen after a night of rest and fluids. He promised to keep him comfortable and would give IV and explained what would be ahead if the kitty made it. That day, I told two friends about the cat and without talk of expense, they both offered to help pay the vet bill. Jan had also offered to pay half. I knew I would not be able to accept their gracious offer but was so touched they even thought of it. I am blessed to be surrounded by good souls.
Late, the following morning, the vet called to say the cat had not made it. My heart broke. We tried out best but could not save him. It was hard to find the lesson in this. I just hope he died in peace and did not feel pain from the time he got to the vet.
When the bill arrived, the vet picked up most of the cost. He did this on his own. I was responsible for everything, yet out of the kindness of this heart – he covered all but the cremation (which is done through another company). He will forever be our vet. I once again, gracefully declined Jan’s offer to help, but she sent it on Venmo anyway. Her gesture, the older man’s contribution, was truly heartwarming.
It started with the cat and it felt like that set things in motion. It feels like I keep getting run over by a truck only to get up, dust myself off and get run over again. The next week, Brian got COVID. It was wicked and scary. Three months later, he still is not back to where his workouts were. There is still a slight cough but thank God he is okay. Caleb got COVID from the only person in his bubble at the time. He began to get sick on Thanksgiving. With Brian, I felt so helpless because we did our best to keep him away from the family. With Caleb, I was by his side, trying to do anything to help him. He got most of the things you read about (minus loss of taste or smell). He had been run over by the COVID buss. Even now, he has terrible fatigue. It is hard to see. They returned to school this week and he must nap once or twice after. He looks tired all the time and it has taken a toll on him. Yesterday was an extremely tough day for him and it breaks my heart. I fucking hate this virus. It has not only struck my family but close friends (one right now going through it and another off quarantine from it just days ago).
The truck hit me again when Brian’s job was suddenly outsourced to India. We both went to a place of fear. I had left my job on Oct 30th because we thought we were so secure with his. Weeks after I left my job, they fired the managers I left over, and then I regretted my decision to leave. Now, we were without any paychecks and I was hard on myself.
At the beginning of this new year, I was hit by another truck. A truck that showed no mercy. It is not my story to tell but it shattered me. I felt helpless. I felt fear. Thankfully, with this truck, there is only love and I see more of the greatness that will come from this – every day.
2020 brought a lot of anxiety, fear, loss, sadness, but it brought a lot of gifts that I am forever thankful for. Brian’s schedule has been a nightmare for many years. We would only see him about half the time. He was able to work from home since March or so and it was great to see him so much. I know the quarantine was hard on a lot of relationships. I am happy to say, that after being together twenty-eight years, ours continued to blossom. He sleeps best when his arm is around me. I am a light sleeper and hard for me to get comfortable. Often, I cannot wait for him to go to sleep, so I can slide his arm off me so I can sleep. Now, I look forward to his snuggles and have even learned to fall asleep this way. I am a lucky woman to be married to Brian. We have also been fortunate to spend a lot more time with the boys. I am the one that tells them no or asks that they help out, etc. I am definitely not their favorite person. But the love is deep, and we all feel it. I thank God every single morning and night for us all (including) Jesse being under one roof.
A couple days after we found out Brian was losing his job; I text the happy hour girls to let them know I would not be joining our call as I would not be good company. I let them know what happened, and immediately Kim text, “If you guys move back to Vancouver. You can live with me.” She followed up with, “I am totally serious.” Her generous offer brought me to tears. We have committed to staying here for the boys, but that was such an act of selflessness. In this stressful time, friends and family have done so many nice, unexpected things. There was a time, I may have refused some of the gifts, but I have learned from poor behavior from someone I helped in their time of need, the grace in accepting the generosity of those who love us. I know it makes me feel good to help people I love and know it makes them feel good, too. I have refused, with as much love and explanation as I could, one nice offer but promised to let them know if we ever were in a place where we would need it. I do feel terrible in that one friend sent a generous gift, but some asshole at the postal service decided to steal it and never arrived.
2020 also brough Ryne his first job and it was so great to see him thrive. He also remained healthy in the sick-house as Briand and I call it. Cal also got his driver’s license. The boys had a lot of wonderful things happen in this crazy ass year. The relationships with their friends have become even more solid.
This new year may have started with getting hit by another truck, but in its infancy, this is a good year. Brian and I both accepted new jobs this week. I was fortunate enough to have two offers and was able to take the job closest to home, as Brian has a long commute.
I noticed the other day, that the small scars left behind from the cat, have faded away. They were a reminder of seeing that pain but like all scars, the trauma is fading away.
With Christmas money, we found a great deal on a used Bowflex. Our little workout area is coming together. Neither Brian or I had eaten meat this year (until I pigged out on chicken fried steak this morning, because I knew I was getting on track tomorrow – as I have 1,000,000 time prior). I am not beating myself up over it. I have been doing fairly well with my diet since leaving my job. My blood pressure is way down from when I left my job. I had lab work done a few weeks ago and everything looked great. My cholesterol is, “outstanding,” as the nurse put it. I feel great going into this year. I My bp is still an issue I need to continue working on but I am going in the right direction.
On Friday, I received a sweet email from the first editor on my book. She said she was thinking of one of my characters and asked if I ever published the book. She had such nice things to say. This meant so much, as she has edited a ton of books and now also works on a magazine. For her, to think of me, gives me a lot of confidence in myself and the book.
This new year, also brings this new website and blog. Starting tomorrow, I will chronicle my journey and commitments. I am still trying to iron out what I will be doing but will have it all figured out tonight. I will write a lot more often, and thankfully for you, the posts will be much shorter. I would love you to follow along. My journey is complicated by a lot of things, including depression but I continue to win the battles. If you would like to be there through this and/or need an accountability partner – please subscribe to the blog (on this home page). It will email you when there are new entries. You can even have the emails sent to a folder if you are someone who likes to keep emails to a minimum. It would mean a lot to me. The dream is to grow this blog. The blog has made me feel like I am not alone. My hope is we all know – that we are not alone.
Happy 2021 my friends,
Jenn (new year – same spelling from when I was young)
diaryofherjourney 