Happy Hump Day! I have known and used the phrase Hump Day since I was a kid. My stepdad was in radio and he made a big deal of Hump Day every Wednesday over the airwaves. I can still hear him. For most of life that is what I have thought about until recent years when those annoying commercials came out with the camels. My husband does it in that camel voice every Wednesday. It makes the boys crazy but I like seeing my husband get giddy, like a kid. Mostly, though, I think about a friend who was telling another friend and I how she and her husband rarely have sex. She wanted to fix that, and I told her she should start using Hump Day to get it on and make it a standing date. I cannot remember their path, but their relationship did improve. When they got pregnant, my other friend said, Well, it must have happened on a Wednesday.
I am now three days into a renewed energy toward weight loss. I have gained and lost weight my entire life. Most of it just gaining. In recent years, I lost a total of approximately 140 pounds. I know for sure it was 120 but when my weight got that high – I refused to weigh myself again and likely put on another 20 after that. I have put 76 pounds of that lost weight back on. That was hard to say. I do not think I had admitted that to anyone (although, I am sure they could tell by looking at me). Since then, I have lost 26 pounds and have fifty pounds to get to my goal weight.
I know the reasons I gained the weight back. We all have our own journeys that have led us to different types of addictions. I could not control getting sick. I had no idea that my body was depleting potassium due to a blood pressure prescription. I knew I was sick but when the brain is not functioning properly, one does not think clearly. This happened for months before I ended up nearly dying. When I was sick, I damaged my body. Pounding the hell out of it while working out and trying to get my mental health better but could not feel my body. I did not know this, because again, my brain was not functioning properly. This led to the plate in my neck and the reason I am told I need back surgery. I am not rehashing things a lot of my regular readers know for any other reason to say – I could not stop this. I did not know what was happening. I could, however, have reacted to my circumstances differently. How I reacted, caused the weight gain. How I have reacted to things my whole life, has caused the weight gain. Nearly dying didn’t make me gain the weight – how I responded to it, did.
It sucks being accountable for our mistakes. I just chuckled out loud to myself as I have made many mistakes in my time on earth. My cousin once told me, we cannot control a lot in our life, but we can control what we eat. She is spot on. If life feels out of control, we should take control where we can. This is what helps to keep us sane.
I feel this in my bones….I will lose this fifty pounds. I will live a healthy life. The fire is here. I have accountability by exposing myself to anyone who stumbles upon this blog.
I am only on day 3 of this new and improved journey but I feel great (outside of a body that screams at me most of the day). I will be 49 in a matter of weeks. I really do not know how in the fuck that happened. My brain thinks I am 29 and I will continue listening to her. My journey will be slow and I am okay with that. I have grown a lot in this way in these last years. My eye is on the prize. I will get there one pound at a time.
I hope you continue to follow along this journey. During this, I hope you are inspired to create your own goals.
It might be hard to put your faith in me. I have already gained, gained, gained, lost, gained, losing. I am also someone who was at Costco yesterday and had to wear my glasses on top of my head as they kept fogging up. I had to use the restroom (which completely freaked me out) and was careful to avoid touching all I could. I went back out and continued to shop. I was all the way across the building when I realized my glasses were not on top of my head. I panicked and power walked back to the bathroom in fear, picturing them on the floor of a public bathroom. I panicked even more when they were not there. I began to retrace my steps, before realizing, my glasses were on my face.
I tell you this story, so you know, without a doubt – if I can take this journey toward better health- so can you.
Days 2,3 over 10k steps each day, continued plank challenge, did 5 girl pushups today, did (3) sets of 15 arm workouts with 3-pound weights. I dipped into my extra WW points yesterday but am eating well. Past versions of myself would be too embarrassed to tell where I am at – but this version is nothing but proud.
I hope you can look back at your days and be proud, too.
Jenn
diaryofherjourney 