Happy Friday to you! I know many of you have a three-day weekend and will be able to spend it with friends and family, for the first time since the pandemic began. I hope you will hug those you love tight. I can’t wait to do this to my own friends and family in just over a month.
I had x-rays done on Wednesday, and I’m so happy to say that everything is looking good. I was released to spend half time in a shoe and half in the boot, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to put that boot back on. I’m excited about my progress so far in the shoe. It’s a little like learning to walk again but is easier every day. The first couple of days there was a lot less stability, but today it has improved. I have been cleared to drive, but I haven’t yet. I was told to practice before doing so, but there’s a bit of a mental block on flexing my foot forward on the pedals. I’ll have to try today, though, as I do have to drive in the morning.
I start physical therapy on Tuesday and am pumped about it. Weird, right? I know, it will go a long way in my road to full recovery. On Wednesday, we also did an x-ray on my left foot, and as expected, I need surgery on that one as well. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it will be a much less invasive surgery than the one I just had. P/T will also help with the left foot. I want to put that surgery out as long as possible, but I’m also going to be close attention as not to go too long.
My diet has been total shit with this recovery. It’s disappointing. I expected a lot more from myself, going into it. I was in the zone. Well, I shit all over that zone. I have a long way to go with my emotional eating, but getting to walk again, has gone a long way in helping the mental part of it all. Everything is so much easier over the past few days. Still, I have a lot of mercy for myself. It was a lot to go through, between the foot, boob, friends and family being sick, etc. I made an appointment to go to my old 7:30 WW meeting tomorrow morning. I’m not real sure how I’m going to get my ass out the door at 6:30, as I’ve become a night owl, but it’s a big step in getting back to me. I look forward to seeing the faces of people who have the same addiction and are there to battle it. I told Caleb last night, that I signed up for a spot. He looked at me and said, “This last month hasn’t been your fault. You’ve been through a lot; anyone would struggle.” It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.
The hormones have still been a battle. Horrible night sweats, nightmares (I think part of that is from the antidepressant), blah, blah, blah. I’m hoping a healthier diet will help with all of this as well.
After not working for the past six months, I accepted a new job. Last week was kind of crazy, as I had three offers. I really had to think through the pros and cons of each of them. Honestly, I can’t say that I feel 100% ready to return to work, but life is real, and I want to contribute financially to our future. I will be working with a former colleague again, which was huge deciding factor for me, along with working mostly from home. I think working from home, helps in staying in a good routine and keeping on track. Once I got out of the horrible anxiety and reaction to the pandemic, when I worked from home before, I had a nice walking regiment and was good mentally and physically for both me and my dog. The job itself, will be hella stressful. Prices are skyrocketing everywhere, while there is also a shortage in materials. I will now be doing sourcing full-time, while before it was only part of what I did. There will be learning curves, along with new corporate stuff, but I must trust in myself. I start the new job on the 7th. Oh, working from home will also be good as recovery is a long process for this foot and ankle.
A good friend drove out and took me to breakfast this morning. It was nice on so many levels. I miss being around friends, being out (post pandemic) and being able to get around without a scooter or big boot. We had wonderful, easy conversation, and I’m so glad that life is starting to feel more normal in many ways.
My oldest son, Ryne, turned twenty a couple of weeks ago. It’s all surreal to me, that he’s so grown up, that I’m nearly fifty. Life really does go too fast. His birthday was around Mother’s Day. I had a lot to reflect upon. For many years, I wasn’t sure that we could have children. It was hard to get pregnant to start and then hard to keep a pregnancy. It was through fertility treatment, that we were able to have Ryne. Caleb, well, he was a surprise to us all – but thankfully, there were also steps in place, that once we found I was pregnant, to help me hold onto the pregnancy. They have always been part of every prayer, and I feel so blessed to be their mom. This has really been on my mind, even more, lately. Just really focusing on all the blessings in my life. It helps, in the hardest of times, especially.
I’ll leave you with something I heard recently, “Pay attention to who you were as a child.” This really spoke to me, going back to what made you happiest. For me, I was always outside. I was such a Tomboy. I loved sports, playing in creeks, exploring. I am glad that some of those things are still a part of me, although I got back to them later in life. I really am looking forward to moving around better and getting outside more. Life is all to precious. We should all spend it doing the things that make us happiest.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Jenn
diaryofherjourney 